Minal, this is our college chapter.

Induction Day

We first met in our college during the induction program when we were freshers. You were wearing a yellow top, you had braided your hair, and I was sitting at the last row, bored — until my gaze landed on you. That was, by far, the most thrilling moment I have felt in my life till now.

Later, when we got together, holding your hands, staring at you just because, you looking pretty without any reason — that was something else. And watching you walk on Saree Day, wearing saree after saree while everyone was just so fond of clicking pictures, is still a moment I can replay in my head forever.

The First Talk

Coming back to when we met: I just wanted to talk to you, but I was so afraid to say hi to any girl because I never talked to any girl. I was finding reasons to talk to you. Then your hostel mate came to us to form a hackathon group. I thought, this is the best opportunity to at least have a lead to talk to you. And something magical happened — you came to talk to us by yourself. You told us not to form a hackathon group with your hostel mate, and I was like, okay, who wanted to.

Now we were in the same group: you, me, Mayuri, Kushal, Vedant, and Chinmayi. We were friends. I was still scared to talk to you. Three months passed and there was no progress between us. Then I decided to express myself. I asked Chinmayi to talk about me to you. She said no.

I was so heartbroken. I remember listening to songs and telling myself I am over you — I even told Vedant that — and right after that, I would still long for you.

Friends, Fights, Telegram

Some time passed by. I gathered the courage to talk to you and asked if we could be friends. You said we can do that. But it did not feel right to have feelings for someone and still be their friend. I stopped talking to you. I used to talk about you with Mayuri, who became one of my best friends. Then she somehow managed us to get talking again.

Then we used to talk on Telegram. It was strange — for over four years of college, we spent more time staying angry at each other rather than just talking and sorting it out. The mistake was completely mine. I did not know how to love. I did not know that when you love someone, you do not hold grudges. You just have to let go of things. Because if you hold grudges against them, then what is the difference between you and other people?

Courage I Still Remember

I still remember you sweating while cutting the block in our workshop and I offered to cut it for you. Unfortunately, you were doing it for another lady.

I still remember when you came to meet me in the lab and, because of work assigned to me by Tayade ma’am, I was in her cabin and couldn’t meet you. You came and sat beside me in the lab. That was so cool. I would never do that. That was the most courageous Minal I ever saw. That was SRK-type romance for me.

Vadodara

Then I remember going to Vadodara — staying away from you for three whole months. I never said to you that I did not want to stay there, because I thought you would think I am weak or desperate. But I did not know what love is at that time. Why would you judge me if we are in love?

I remember getting into a fight with you and at that very instant booking a train ticket to be with you the next day, saying: I can’t live without you, please don’t be angry with me. I can bear the whole world not okay with me, against me, but I just can’t fathom you being with the world and not with me.

Unfortunately it was raining like cats and dogs and the train was cancelled. There was a flood in Vadodara. There were no autos to go back to the place where I was living. I was 14 kms away. I walked in the flood to my place. And the first thing I did was write a big, big letter to you to explain how sorry I am. But still, I did not say things that I should have: that you being with the world and staying angry with me aches my heart. You not talking to me pushes me into the deepest trenches of darkness from which I can never get out. And you being on my side gives me the strength to take the strongest lift and escape those trenches, and be the greatest person I can ever be.

Everyday You

There is nothing I can fear. I could go to war if I knew that you are by my side (not in the war zone — I can never let you do such hard things). I remember going to places and whatever I saw, I used to think of you. These bracelets will look good on Minal. This necklace’s value will increase if Minal wears it. So on and so forth.

I still do that. I still go to malls and I think those things are waiting for Minal to wear them. When I was in Vadodara, I sent you a video of the place I was living in. It was bad. There was no place to bathe there. You still said it was good. That was heaven for me.

Now I live in Bangalore. It is the best place that someone of my age can afford to live in. But it still doesn’t mean anything to me. It is just a utility, because you have not validated that yet.

April 16, 2025

In April, you asked me a simple question: “So, you do not go to the gym now?” That was a simple question, but I saw my world shatter there. I used to talk to you 5–6 hours a day. I took it very seriously. You were the only person with whom I shared everything — when I woke up, what I did, everything. So how could you not remember that I stopped going to the gym a very long time ago? I got pissed. It was my mistake. But I will still get angry over that right now, because how could a person who is everything for me not know this?

We then finally stopped talking on April 16, 2025. A lot happened that day, and it really took a toll on my decision-making capabilities. If I were in a good condition, I would not have done this.

Life Since Then

Since then, many good things happened. Right after a week, I got the highest paying internship. But did it mean anything to me? No. You were not there. After that I got a job offer without doing anything, without applying, at a place I wanted — a startup where just 5–6 people work. They pay me like crazy. Real, real crazy. But did it mean anything to me? No. You were not there.

I took my first flight. Did it matter? No. You were not there. I missed my first flight. But who should I tell this to? Who will listen to me being a baby and crying over missing a flight? I bought a phone — a crazy one — did it matter? No. You are not there. I got a Mac — did it matter? No. You are not there.

I was earning well and now I am going to earn even more. Our startup got more customers and I was responsible for boosting the speed of execution. It still doesn’t matter. You are still not with me. I still do not know whether I should be happy about this. It feels like I am alive, but I have been dead since April 16, 2025.

What I Want You To Know

Minal, there is not even a single day I have spent without remembering you. I just cannot imagine my life without you. I want to stay awake whole night to make paper roses of blue color again (weird, but still — blue is your favorite color). This time I will make a bouquet of flowers. I want to share all the things that happen with you. I want to listen to yours too. I want to know who is playing the role of pathetic warden Aashi in your new place in Pune. I want to know what you did today. I want to keep checking whether you took your medicines, whether you drank enough water today. I want to know how your ulcers are doing. I want to know everything, and I want to keep knowing for the whole life.

Right after April 16, 2025, I was studying for CAT. I was just there. I never wanted to do this. I am not an MBA person. I just wanted to crack it so that you can talk to your parents about me being in an IIM. I even reached out to you. I said I wanted to say some things. This was it. But you never asked. So I felt discouraged. I prepared for it enough to crack it, but I did not go to the exam. I just couldn’t.

I know I am asking you for a lot. But please spend the rest of your life with me. I promise to never be the person who made you cry, who got angry over small reasons. I am a better man now. I know what it is to love someone. Please do not say “loving someone is letting them go.” If that is the definition of love everyone wants to follow, then I do not want to be a great lover. I want to be the most un-great lover and have you in my life than be a world-known lover and not have you.

I still dream of you like a nightmare. Please be with me and end the nightmare once and for all. I know what I am asking you to do is a lot. And if I had the power to not let you go through that, I would have done it myself. Please talk to your parents about us. You just have to take this one step, and I will never ask for the whole life to you to sacrifice anything, will never put you in such a juncture.

Once you do this, I will convince everyone. I will take permission from even Aastha to let her Mavshi be with me. I will convince your village, this city, the whole state, nation, the whole world to let you be with me. Don’t ask for the practicality of this. I will do it whatever it takes.

What people think doesn’t matter to me. But what you think does. If you think what people will think matters, it matters to me too. I will convince them. I will convince them to let you be with me.